In today’s world, maintaining harmony in marriage is a challenge many face. From what I’ve observed, one piece of advice I would offer to every married man and woman is this: Do not allow your relationship to reach a point where it’s more of a relief than a loss when either of you is no longer present.
Marriage should be a bond that strengthens and supports, not one that isolates or suffocates.
One key aspect of this balance is the relationship with extended family, particularly in-laws. While I no longer advocate going above and beyond for in-laws to an unrealistic extent, it’s crucial not to hinder your spouse from fulfilling their roles as a son, daughter, or sibling. Marriage should not come at the cost of severing essential relationships, especially with parents and siblings. Unfortunately, there are marriages where one partner is forced to cut ties with their family to avoid constant conflict.
Take, for instance, a friend of mine who seemed perpetually lost and lonely, despite being married. She recently confided that her husband didn’t want her family around, so she cut them off to keep the peace. She even went so far as to refuse her father entry into her home. After her husband’s passing, she found solace in reconnecting with her family, but she now carries the heavy regret of lost years.
Her story is a stark reminder of how important it is to maintain those familial connections. A spouse should never feel threatened by their partner’s relationship with their parents. Instead, they should understand and respect the love and duty one has toward their parents. If you set the example by valuing your parents, your spouse is more likely to follow suit, creating a healthier and more balanced family dynamic.
Unfortunately, there are those who do not prioritize their parents, and their spouses often exacerbate this issue. It’s distressing to know that some women react with hostility if they discover their husbands are supporting their own families. They forget where their husbands’ journeys began, feeling entitled to everything their husbands own while excluding those who raised and supported them. Imagine wishing for your own child to treat you the same way?
When life gets tough, many such wives abandon their husbands, or worse, stay and treat them poorly. In these situations, I often say, “You’ve made your bed, so lie in it,” because many men neglect their families once they marry, only to regret it later when their spouses turn on them. The ease with which some men turn their backs on their own flesh and blood is alarming.
Neglecting your parents due to external influence is more than just a sign of weakness—it’s a curse. A man who understands that his wife’s importance does not diminish the value of his parents and siblings is the one who will avoid regret later in life. Remember, you were a son and a brother before you became a husband; these relationships are foundational and should not be compromised.
Life has a way of surprising us. The very people we neglect might be the ones we need most in the end. No good person, especially no loving spouse, will encourage you to neglect your loved ones, particularly your parents. If anyone, including religious figures, suggests otherwise, consider that a red flag.
In conclusion, it’s essential to strike a balance between the various roles you play in life. Never let marriage become a reason to sever ties with those who have been with you from the beginning. Cherish and maintain your relationships with your parents and siblings, for these bonds are just as important as the one you share with your spouse. If you’ve faltered in this area, it’s never too late to make amends. Reconnect, rebuild, and remember where you came from.
Do you wish to initiate a DMCA takedown report? Kindly send details to [email protected] or [email protected]
Written: ( 04:28 am)
